What I would say to me ten years ago.

A little over a decade ago, I had a life-defining experience of career burnout (It isn’t very comforting to appreciate how quickly that time has gone!). Following this experience, I did a lot of soul-searching and became fascinated by how we can experience more meaningful and joyful careers.

Much of where I am today was cultivated through experiences-both good and bad during my career and the benefit of training and support from incredible mentors, coaches and teachers.

Reflecting over the last ten years got me thinking about what I’d love to say to that stressed, anxious and stuck younger version of me.

So here are ten things that I think the ten years younger version of me needed to know.

Maybe it's what you need to hear too?

1, Make taking care of your nervous system a top priority

When you learn how to speak the language of your nervous system and how to regulate yourself, you expand your capacity for challenge, uncertainty, and joy. So, stop living your life from the neck up and get back in touch with your body.   No good decisions come when your nervous system is dysregulated and stuck in survival mode.  

The small changes you make to your lifestyle, the way you eat and the practices you learn through your yoga training make a huge difference to the quality of your thinking and how you feel about yourself and your career.

2, You can transcend your self-doubt

Self-doubt is not a part of you trying to sabotage your hopes and dreams. There is no enemy within. It's an entirely understandable response to perceived psychological risk, not a measure of your capability or your destiny. Focusing on the resistance that self-doubt creates is a waste of time. Get the help you need to start addressing the root cause of your self-doubt and cultivate a more supportive belief system.

You will learn to overcome your self-doubt and help others break through their inner barriers too. Your greatest challenge will lead you to your purpose.

3, Trust Yourself

The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself, the most important words are the ones you speak to yourself (choose your words well), and the most important opinion is your own. When you allow your inner guidance system to lead your life, you will attract good fortune and feel connected, valued, confident and loved.

4, Find your fit

Stop comparing and telling yourself you are not enough. Once you are honest with yourself about who you are and what you want, everything will change. To flourish, you need the right mix of tasks, environment, relationships, and value you can provide. You'll find the right fit.

Finding your right fit also applies to your support network. Being surrounded by loving and believing eyes and ears makes trusting and believing in yourself so much easier. Stop trying to change yourself to fit in and find a network that helps you remain true to yourself.

5, Use your voice

Speaking up will feel scary, especially as you've spent most of your life trying to be agreeable. You will question yourself, but you must keep showing up even when it feels uncomfortable. Every time you express what is important to you, you reinforce in your brain that your wishes are important and valuable, and you demonstrate to others that it's okay for them to do the same.

6, Not everyone is going to like you, understand you or agree with you, and that's okay

When you show up as yourself, you may make others feel uncomfortable. If you become more visible, speak up or set a boundary, you will annoy someone.

You cannot control other people's reactions; you can only control what you make it mean.

So don't let your fear of judgement hold you back. Visibility plays a massive role in your success in organisations and when you start working for yourself. For everyone that doesn't get you, there will be many more that do, and if you're not out there sharing your work, you are depriving them of the benefits of everything you have learned.

7, Get support

You don’t have to do it alone. The right people and programmes will show up when you need them—trust who and what resonates with you and be open to learning new things. You are here in this life to learn as much as possible. Get support from someone who is a few steps ahead on the journey. You will invest thousands of pounds in your personal and professional development you will only ever regret not investing sooner.

You can keep changing jobs and blaming others, but you'll soon come to acknowledge your role in your challenges. Nobody escapes their life's lessons. It's quicker, more fun, and more empowering to navigate them with quality support.

8, Lighten up

Taking yourself too seriously blocks your connection to your intuition. Your over-serious and intellectual self is your ego trying to stay in charge and protect you from feeling vulnerable. In contrast, your light-hearted, playful, and creative self will align with your purpose. So, if you feel stuck and blocked, stop trying to improve yourself and inject more fun and creativity into your life.

Being creative and doing something just for fun helps you stop thinking and start being. You need art and spontaneity because it feeds your soul. You don’t need to create perfect Instagram-worthy art; get creative, and make time for fun and non-intellectual pursuits because that’s the fastest way to help your true spirit shine through.

9, Learn how to channel your emotions

You are naturally empathetic. Deep feelings and experiencing emotions on a large scale are the reality of who you are. Your feelings are neither good, bad, nor wrong. They give you messages and ask you to notice things; paying attention and interrogating them a little further is worthwhile.

So stop wasting your time, pretending that things don't bother you, accept and leverage the upsides of your emotionality and avoid getting depleted (it heightens the intensity).

10, You have the power to change your story

You are not limited by your past experiences or past generations' impact. Your experiences are what have helped you grow. The most effective reframe you can use, especially when all the shit hits the fan, is:

“It isn’t happening to me; it's happening for me.”

Choose to view your life experiences as opportunities to grow. It will transform challenges into gifts of opportunity, resilience, creativity and courage. Seeing your circumstances as a perfectly designed soul classroom isn't always easy, but it will help shift your perspective and give you power.

Trust that there is always a solution; life is unfolding as it should, and expect the best. With the benefit of hindsight, you'll see that situations that brought disappointment, sadness and closed doors led you to reroute towards something infinitely better and more aligned with your highest good.

Have faith in yourself and have courage. What's waiting for you is worth it.